Hi, meet Danielle. She's not the world's best friend, but she's okay.

image148




Fun facts about Danielle:

The following are completely true and not fabricated:

image149

  • She has a pet bear. 
  • She can cast spells, but only on the 1st and 15th of the month. 
  • She fights giant squids on the weekends, and wrestles alligators on Thursdays. She is currently 9/1 and 12/0, respectively. 
  • She vacations in dumpsters because airbnb is "so 2018".
  • She has been to space 3 times but won't go back because it's "too touristy" now.
  • Pancakes 
  • She can see the future, but if she tells you it changes. 
  • Her favorite color is poptarts. 
  • Why won't you shut up? 
  • She has a black belt in emotional support. 
  • She likes long, moonlit walks on the beach and bathing in chocolate milk. 
  • She hates chocolate milk. 
  • She can count from 1 to potato really fast. 
  • She pays for most purchases in pocket tater tots.
  • Her favorite sport is aniexty. 
  • She watches murder mystery shows to learn what mistakes not to make. 
  • She makes artisan pickled marshmallows. 
  • She did it. 
  • She once settled a lawsuit between Bigfoot and Yeti®
  • Did I mention she hates               C̶̛̦̥͖̯͉͚̣̳̖̫̠̬̫̬̻̘͕̗͢͠͞h̹̫̳̞̩̙͓̩̙̰̞̫͓͙̀͝ǫ̞͔͚̭̥͙̻̝͔̩͈c̼̝͕̯̜̥͖̙̩̮̩̟̠̻̹̣͈̀͡ó̠̙͔̠͞͝l̨̩͓͈̰̝̞̩̙͉͉̫̠̘̯̩̻͕̀͟͡ͅá̛͓̫̱̮̫̜̗͢t̀͠͏͓͈͙̞e̡͖̮̗̹̜̥̜̤͎̺̺̗͘͞͠ͅͅ ̢̹̹̣̫͕̭̩͈͙̀͢m̸̶͟͏͍̹̪̺̦͇i͏̷̛͖̭̱̯l̲͈̗͔͕͈̦̫̥̥̘̝̖̙̭̦̀͢ͅk̨̼̯̝͔͖̪͈̬͟͞