Hi, meet Danielle. She's not the world's best friend, but she's okay.
Fun facts about Danielle:
The following are completely true and not fabricated:
She has a pet bear.
She can cast spells, but only on the 1st and 15th of the month.
She fights giant squids on the weekends, and wrestles alligators on Thursdays. She is currently 9/1 and 12/0, respectively.
She vacations in dumpsters because airbnb is "so 2018".
She has been to space 3 times but won't go back because it's "too touristy" now.
She can see the future, but if she tells you it changes.
Her favorite color is poptarts.
Why won't you shut up?
She has a black belt in emotional support.
She likes long, moonlit walks on the beach and bathing in chocolate milk.
She hates chocolate milk.
She can count from 1 to potato really fast.
She pays for most purchases in pocket tater tots.
Her favorite sport is aniexty.
She watches murder mystery shows to learn what mistakes not to make.
She makes artisan pickled marshmallows.
She did it.
She once settled a lawsuit between Bigfoot and Yeti®
Did I mention she hates C̶̛̦̥͖̯͉͚̣̳̖̫̠̬̫̬̻̘͕̗͢͠͞h̹̫̳̞̩̙͓̩̙̰̞̫͓͙̀͝ǫ̞͔͚̭̥͙̻̝͔̩͈c̼̝͕̯̜̥͖̙̩̮̩̟̠̻̹̣͈̀͡ó̠̙͔̠͞͝l̨̩͓͈̰̝̞̩̙͉͉̫̠̘̯̩̻͕̀͟͡ͅá̛͓̫̱̮̫̜̗͢t̀͠͏͓͈͙̞e̡͖̮̗̹̜̥̜̤͎̺̺̗͘͞͠ͅͅ ̢̹̹̣̫͕̭̩͈͙̀͢m̸̶͟͏͍̹̪̺̦͇i͏̷̛͖̭̱̯l̲͈̗͔͕͈̦̫̥̥̘̝̖̙̭̦̀͢ͅk̨̼̯̝͔͖̪͈̬͟͞